The Most Annoying and Useless TV Infomercials Ever

TV infomercials are great to watch when you call in sick from work or school, or if insomnia is kicking in at 3AM. Because realistically you can only re-watch the same episode of Sports Center so many times. Some of the products featured are actually useful (ShamWow), but nine times out of then, they are products you could never imagine using. Especially when they are being hard-sold to you with a time-sensitive offer. Below is a list of some of the most useless product infomercials of all time, with the infomercials themselves being just as useless as the products they are trying to sell.
The Hawaii Chair

This premise of this product is that you can give your abs a good workout while sitting in a chair not doing anything. And as a result, this product appeals to morons. Could you imagine going into a job interview or a meeting only to see the person on the other side of the table using this? I doubt you’d be able to keep a straight face.

Worst Line: “Use the Hawaii Chair while Filing!”



Snuggies

Snuggies are the perfect hybrid of sweater and blanket, for those that feel the need to spend money on one more useless thing. This is the perfect invention for someone who is incapable of wearing a bathrobe backwards and/or refuses to turn the heat up in their house.

Worst Line: ” Blankets are OK but they Can slip and slide। And when you need to reach for something, your hands are stuck inside.”


Tweeze

How do women deal with unwanted facial and neck hair? Well before the Tweeze, those unwilling to get waxes found themselves having to use tweezers to pick and pull each rogue hair individually. Well now women can get rid of this unwanted hair with a useful tool at home, that is basically a beard trimmer for women.

Worst Line: “I tweeze my cheek। I tweeze my chin. I tweeze my upper lip.”


FinallyFast.com

Do you want your computer to operate faster? Well according to Finally Fast, all it takes is your downloading more software. Unfortunately, this program wrongly assumes that the vast majority of Americans still use 56k or lower internet connections. Also it is only PC compatible.

Worst Line: “Hey my computers fast! Finally! Finally Fast dot com!”


Tiddy Bear

The Tiddy Bear is a great invention for women that do not like to feel the hard edges of a seatbelt digging into their breasts and shoulders while driving. Not satisfied with the traditional, padded seatbelt sleeve, the makers of the Tiddy Bear have provided a cute, cuddly teddy bear that makes your daily commute all that more enjoyable. Oh, and it sounds like they are saying “Titty Bear”.

Worst Line: ” The cute little guy that gets rid of all the problems।”


Magna Scribe

Have you ever thought that the world would be a much better place if someone were to only come up with a quick-release-necklace-and-writing pen apparatus. Me too. The only downside, is that you have to wear a pen around your neck at all times. The upside: your pen will not roll away.

Worst Line: “It’s a quick draw dynamo!”


Car Credit Superstore

If I were to get a new car loan, I wouldn’t go with the company with which I had a track record , or even the one that provides me with the best interest rate. Instead, I think I’d go with a company that has a flashy infomercial and promises to get me guaranteed no matter what. That’s the ticket.

Worst Line: “If you need help with a loan, baby just pick up the phone!”



Autocool

A great product if you’ve ever been suffered third-degree burns from getting into a car with leather seats, in the middle of summer. It is also good if you are incapable of cracking the window while it is parked. There is some great acting at 1:11.

Worst Line: “It gets sizzling hot। Blistering hot. Too hot to get into!”


Pasta Express

Recent census data reports that 130 Million Americans are now obese or seriously overweight. This is most likely because we are too lazy to do anything but order fast food, and have forgotten the useful skills, such as boiling pasta in a pot. People: making contraptions that save time on cooking are just creating more time for fat people to play video games. Why not take the time out to cook?

Worst Line: “You’ll get raves for your ravioli!”


Handy Stitch

I cannot for the life of me ever think of a situation wherein a person would want to sew on the bus. Why not just drop off mending to a tailor? It’s not that expensive. And if you already have a sewing bench can’t you just wait until you get home to sew something up?

Worst line: “Take it to the office, your college dormitory and even away with you while on vacation।”


Optical Wallet Light

Frankly, this wallet light is a waste of money. By the time you fished this out of your wallet, your eyes would already have focused in dimly lit settings to the point that you’d be able to make out what it is your trying to read. Plus, who wants to be seen pulling out a flashlight at a restaurant. And in a pinch, who does not use their cell phone as a light?

Worst line: “Everyone whose seen my OWL wants one। They say Where did you get that I need that I want that right now!”


Clever Clasp

The Clever Clasp is for people that are incapable of putting a necklace or a bracelet on their person. I‘m guessing this is either due to a lack of coordination, or limited mobility. The problem is the Clever Clasp adds about two inches in length to everything you use it with, so now your necklaces and your bracelets are too big. This is something the designers probably never thought about.

Worst Line: “Every time you try to put your necklace on it’s a hassle!”



Sham Wow

This space-age washcloth has the distinction of being the only product on this list that merited its invention. It also, because of the spokesperson and the product name, makes for one of the most annoying products ever. There is also a dubious, possible bait and switch, rug maneuvering at 0:44.

Worst Line: “All I can say is Sham…।Wow!.”