Knight Rider - For the love of God, KITT is not a freaking Mustang! Mustang's are driven by losers who accidentally win $20,000 from instant lottery scratch tickets, not by Michael Knight. Not to mention the fact that the new "Mike Knight" is so douchey that you can literally see him sweating vinegar on the show. Oh yeah, I almost forgot, Val Kilmer is the voice of KITT. Congratulations creators of the show, you're all retarded. 
True Beauty - Ashton Kutcher and Tyra Banks somehow came to the conclusion that people would want to spend an hour every week watching attractive assholes judge the inner-beauty of other attractive assholes.
The Hills - You know that scene in The Empire Strikes Back when they're torturing Chewbacca with loud noises. That's what it feels like when you watch an episode of The Hills.
Heroes - I'll admit that the first season of the show wasn't half bad, but Heroes is downright laughable these days. NBC tried to fix the show by hiring new writers which proves that they don't even recognize the fatal flaw of the show ... all the characters are uninteresting losers who can't act.
Frank TV - We get it Frank, you can imitate a lot of celebrities. No seriously Frank, we get it. It's time to go away now, Frank. Dammit Frank, would you just f*ck off already. Oh no, he's just perfected his Robin Williams imitation. Everybody run for your lives!
Last Call With Carson Daly - It's easy to maintain a talk show when your only competition is Vince the ShamWow guy and Jessica Simpson's anti-pizza face cream. It's truly astonishing how unfunny Carson Daly is. I wonder if anyone has ever truly laughed at one moment in this history of the show.
TMZ TV - You know those kids in high school that you wiped boogers on when you were bored? Well, they all work for TMZ TV. The show is basically a room full of douche bags laughing at their own crappy jokes and the "witty" questions they ask the celebrities while trying to explain it all to Harvey Levin as he sips kerosene from his blue Starbucks tumbler. I would actually consider watching the show one more time if they promised to set Max Hodges on fire and put it out with a billy club made out of hardened poop and vomit .
Mind Of Mencia - It's like watching the Univision version of Hee Haw, except Hee Haw was kind of funny. Carlos is currently the only thing preventing Dane Cook from being the unfunniest man alive.
Tyler Perry's House Of Payne - Some people are freaked out by clowns ... I'm freaked about by Tyler Perry. The only explanation I can think of is that U.S. government must use the show to torture the truth out of captured Iraqi prisoners. If that doesn't work they probably show them Madea's Family Reunion which causes them to tell the truth about the whereabouts of Bin Laden before setting themselves on fire.
