George Steinbrenner, SeinfeldMany of TV's never-seen characters serve as omnipotent gurus whose baritone voices provide much-needed wisdom, like explaining to Tim why his wife's mental health is more important than the Detroit Auto Show. But nobody in Seinfeld's twisted New York was this rational -- not Jerry's neurotic best friends, not the fascist soup proprietor down the street, and certainly not the show's resident unseen force: New York Yankees owner (and boss of George Costanza) George Steinbrenner, whose nasally, scratchy voice (provided by series co-creator Larry David) offered George less advice, and more endless diatribes on the best place to sit in a hot tub and the many virtues of the calzone.
Vera Peterson, Cheers, and Maris Crane, Frasier
Cheers and its spin-off Frasier were different shows with different sensibilities, but sometimes they told the same joke. Norm and Niles both had unseen wives whose beastly appearance were the butt of many jokes, and the descriptions became so epic and beastly that casting someone became impossible. Perhaps both shows had writers who were unsatisfied with their wives and they needed a punching bag to take it out on.
Dr. Claw, Inspector Gadget
By remaining hidden in the shadows, Dr. Claw became one of animation's most mysterious and intriguing villains. So you can imagine how upset Jean Chalopin, Andy Heyward, and Peter Sauder (the creators of Inspector Gadget, duh) must have been when someone at the action figure factory decided he could define what Dr. Claw looks like. The beautiful women and insane power Chalopin, Heyward, and Sauder were no doubt awarded for giving the world Inspector Gadget were likely but a small comfort.
Wilson, Home Improvement
Not so much unseen as never-fully-seen, Tim Taylor's sage-like neighbor Wilson has nevertheless emerged as the Pablo Picasso of anonymous TV characters -- popularizing a once obscure art as 20 million Americans a week squinted through his trademark fencepost, desperate for a glimpse at what was network television's biggest pre-Lost mystery: actor Earl Hindman's chin.
Tino, My So-Called Life Two words: Tino. Tino was literally too cool for school. Like, he was never there. He existed as the abstract personification of clique-bridging coolness that every high school wishes it had. Whether he was spreading the word about a Buffalo Tom concert, supplying Rayanne with off-campus dining options, or maintaining his role as the raucously invisible lead singer of Residue (formerly Frozen Embryos), one thing is for sure: he's still more famous than the guy who played Brian Krakow.
Stan Walker, Will & Grace Stan, Karen's husband, is more mythical creature than human - an unbelievably wealthy whale-of-a-man who somehow won the black heart of Karen Delaney. Considering that the couple divorced twice, once after he faked his own death, Walker arguably drives the plot more than any other unseen character on a TV show..
Charles "Charlie" Townsend, Charlie's AngelsCharlie is arguably the grandfather of the anonymous TV character. From the confines of a mustard-colored telephone speaker, Mr. Townsend's disembodied voice introduced the case of the week to his trio of sexy private eyes, like the world's most boring phone-sex caller. Charlie's anonymity created not only the "unseen character" gimmick, but a whole new world of TV clichés that have lasted to this very day. There's the "Here's This Week's Case" scene (see: Law & Order, House), the "Wise Old Man Gives Advice" scene (see: Home Improvement's Wilson, Boy Meets World's Mr. Feeney), and the "impossibly hot team of professionals assemble" scene (every other show).
Peggy's Mother, Married... with Children Married... with Children took a delightful, unapologetically misogynistic glee in attacking fat women. And Peggy's notoriously obese mother was Married... with Children's proverbial "big fish." What started in earlier seasons as an occasional jab from Al about his mother-in-law's full figure in later seasons grew. And grew, and grew. By Season 10 Peggy's Mom was reportedly so huge she wore brassieres the size of minivans, and any attempt to reveal her in all her 1,000 lb. glory would prove futile. The show had originally planned to have drag-queen Divine assume the role, but in a bit of gloomy irony, the cult movie star died of an enlarged heart before shooting began.
Heather Sinclair, Degrassi: The Next Generation
Heather is something of a running joke on Degrassi: The Next Generation. Though never seen, she is constantly referenced as the meanest queen bee in school. Degrassi is a show known for taking bold stances and "going there," though at this point it seems increasingly unlikely they will reveal Heather to be a 20-foot-tall magic zebra. We'll always have our fan fiction.
Charlie Brown's Teacher, A Charlie Brown Christmas, etc. Authority figures are often kept at a distance from a story's main characters. And, like a Big Brother with less brainwashing, Charlie Brown's teacher (referred to by Brown only as "Ma'am") exists forever off-screen, standing at the head of the classroom, barking questions and reprimands at her large-headed students. Additionally, the teacher's dialog was replaced with jarring wails from a muted trombone. Not only did this reinforce the divide between the world of children and adults at the core of the cartoons, it also introduced actual elementary school students to a new and simple impression for tormenting substitutes.
Ugly Naked Guy, Friends
No, not Tom Selleck. Monica and Rachel's grotesque, nude neighbor existed in Friends only through the disturbing observations of his daily activities as provided by the gang, including using a Thighmaster, vacuuming, and providing sitcom characters with a source of easy callback jokes. It's unfortunate what must be the only bay window in the West Village happens to look directly onto a pervert, though for all we know, Ugly Naked Guy and his friends were equally disgusted watching his neighbors make snarky, mean-spirited comments to one another for 10 years.
