20. Ian McKellen
Silly Tampa Bay Police Department. If Saruman couldn’t keep him imprisoned on top of the tower Orthanc (in the fortress Isengard), what makes you think your local drunk tank can hold him? Also, notice the “White Wizard” outfit for detail.
19. Linda Hamilton
I wish you really could go back in time. Linda would not only go back before her arrest, but also before starring in the movie “The Kid & I” (also starring Tom Arnold, Shannon Elizabeth and Shaq). Hell, they all should’ve been arrested for that one.
18. Sean Penn as Jeff Spicoli
I know Jeff Spicoli was just a character that Sean Penn played, but I couldn’t resist. My guess is that he (she?) has less than “el nickol a” in his (her) bank account.
17 Michael Bolton or Bruce Dern
The last thing you want to hear from your daughter is, “Mom, Dad, I met this guy online.” Why do I feel like he somehow bit his own ear off?
16. Garrison Keillor
This is what Garrison Keillor would look like after listening to three hours of Garrison Keillor. How many bodies do you think are actually in Lake Wobegon?
15. Susan Sarandon in “The Rocky Horror Picture Show”
Even in the worst of times, you can always count on Susan Sarandon for that comforting, motherly smile. Being locked up in Tampa Bay, definitely qualifies as one of the worst of times in your life.
14. Michael Vick
Weird. I thought Michael Vick just got OUT of jail. What? I didn’t know there was such a thing as an Eagle fighting ring!
13. Justin Timberlake
This is an easy one. It has to be Justin Timberlake after a car wreck (or a run in with unstable ex, Britney). Just try to tell me that this guy is not bringing sexy back!
12. Alan Alda
I’d prefer suicide to being treated by this famous TV surgeon and super sensitive hunk from the 70s.
11. Will Forte or Quentin Tarantino
Yes, there is a little Quentin Tarantino in there but, I’m still going with “Saturday Night Live’s” Will Forte.
10. Jason Sudeikis
So Will Forte doesn’t feel alone, here’s another current “SNL” cast member, Jason Sudeikis.
9. Flavor Flaaaaaaaaaaav!!
He’s in the house, and in your pants.
8. Nigel Lythgoe
Cut the hair, lose 10 pounds, and poof! This is “So You Think You Can Dance” judge and producer, Nigel Lythgoe. In lockup, it takes two to tango but five more to hold you down.
7. Ted Lange
Why are so surprised, that Ted Lange (aka Isaac from “The Love Boat”) is in jail? You thought no one would catch him slipping Charo those roofies?
6. Pink
I agree. She looked better in her twenties.
5. Herm Edwards
This is ex-football player and coach, current ESPN analyst Herm (“You play to win the game.”) Edwards. I hope he still has a tight end when he gets out.
4. Sloth from “The Goonies”
I truly believe that this one might be the actual “Sloth” from the 1985 classic, “The Goonies.” I don’t think anyone has heard from him in a while. Quick, someone toss him a Baby Ruth!
3. B-REAL from Cypress Hill
Not only does he look similar, but (just like the hip hop star) he probably also smells a lot like weed.
2. Jim Belushi
This is Jim Belushi now (or John if he had lived). Ironically, he was busted by a K-9.
1. Sir Anthony Hopkins
Did you have a bit too much Chianti with your fava beans, eh, Sir Anthony Hopkins? I can smell your… whatever it is, I can smell it.
