Top 8 Movies That Didn't Deliver On The Hype

Alien Versus Predator (2004)

There really aren’t too many good things I can say about this movie. I went opening night, sat down with my drink and popcorn and spent about an hour and a half squirming in my seat waiting for this thing to get better. Firstly, why on earth did they name it Alien Versus Predator? Something along the lines of “Humans Running Around Scared” or “Five Actual Minutes of Aliens fighting Predators” would’ve told me what this movie really was and I wouldn’t have wasted my money. But I guess what's done is done, right? I understand that the directors maybe trying to go for the whole “scary because you don’t see much of it” kinda thing, maybe. But if they were going for that, why didn’t they do a better job? And why is it that I started praying for an Alien or Predator to come and kill somebody? And really, couldn’t they have given us some more fights between the two coolest other-worldly beings to ever hit the big screen? I hate to say this, simply because they could’ve done so much more with it, but this movie makes me think of one word: Ugh.

Spider-Man 3 (2007)



I really wanted this movie to be awesome. Really. But it wasn’t. It has its qualities, it really does. For example, the effects were pretty amazing, the zany comedy pokes its head up every now and then and Mary Jane is fairly hot/good-looking, but that’s really all it has going for it. Most of the movie I found myself wishing they would develop some sort of plot instead of just literally dropping things right into the midst of things. But no, they couldn’t do that. Instead of a movie, I had to watch Peter Parker walk around being retarded for two hours, with a couple of cool fight scenes intermingled in there once in a while. And really, did they have to ruin Venom? Read some Spider-Man comics and you will see that Eddie Brock / Venom is a completely different character than what they made him out to be. And really, too much drama Mr. Raimi. Way too much. Don’t make Peter Parker such a cry-baby little prick please, I paid to see Spider-Man, not Harry Potter. Oh, and that whole “evil side” thing, please please please tell me you were on drugs when you wrote that part. I personally didn’t know whether to laugh or cry myself. Lets hope you do better on Spidey 4.


Ghost Rider (2007)



Could this movie have been any worse? Is there anybody out there who actually enjoyed this movie? I remember seeing trailers for this movie and thinking “Hey, ya know that could be pretty good” but boy-oh-boy was I wrong. We don’t need to talk about the dialogue, because well, we just don’t need to. We could talk about the acting, but I don’t really think there's much of a need to do that either, so lets discuss some of the things that just generally pissed me off about the worst movie Nic Cage has ever done (we wont talk about Bangkok Dangerous). Alright, well, Eva Mendes was hot, but extremely unimportant. That whole romantic aspect of this movie made no sense to me whatsoever. And how come all the villains got their demonic asses kicked in about five seconds? One of them was so scary, he could use his special wind powers to, uhhh, push Ghost Rider. Absolutely terrifying. But there was one moment where I hoped the movie was going to redeem itself. The Riders were going to ride together, fiery motorcycle and fiery horse, seems a pretty cool idea right? Well yea, the actual riding scene was alright, but just when I thought it might get cool, the other rider just leaves. Like, “that’s my last ride, I just wanted to ride, you’re on your own against the son of the Devil.” What the hell? Seriously, WHAT THE HELL? The problem is that there is really too much crap in this movie to write all of it out. If we never talk about this again, I’ll be alright with that.


Indiana Jones and The Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008)



I am not saying this movie is an awful picture. As a matter of fact, this movie was actually alright and if you watch it a second time, knowing what to expect, you might find yourself enjoying all the gags and stunts and classic Indy movie experiences that are thrown in there. The reason it is on here is because it wasn’t what we were hoping it would be. Indy 4 was, simply put, a disappointment. All us Indy nerds were expecting something on par with the originals, if not something much better, and we were let down. I personally think that this movie is a little bit of an abomination to the original trilogy, but its still Indy, so it has been added to my DVD collection. It is only on this list because I was let down, as were so many other fans out there. I cried with you guys, I was there.


Any M. Night Shyamalan film after Signs



There's so much here we can talk about and I am finding it difficult to talk about just one of those disappointments, but I think the most disappointing of them all was The Happening. The trailer for The Happening was full of mystery, suspense, with some eerie force wreaking havoc upon the unsuspecting people of America. It looked pretty sweet overall. But then I watched the movie. Honestly, the script for this movie was terrible. Poor dialogue and poor acting made me literally uncomfortable as I sat in the theater wishing I hadn’t come. Unfortunately for me, I have this thing where I will never walk out of any movie, as I always have a hope that a bad movie could just maybe rescue itself; but I didn’t even get a hint of that from The Happening. It started out bad and it just got worse. And worse. If you’ve never seen it, don’t waste your time. If you have seen it, try and erase it from your memory. I will always hold out hope for Mr. Shyamalan because I loved Signs so much, so uhh, here's to him making another good movie someday. Cheers.


Planet of The Apes (2001)



Sometimes I wonder why Hollywood puts out movies like this. The original was excellent, had fantastic dialogue, and there was substance to the movie. In this one, Mark Wahlberg just shows up and gets attacked by some monkeys. They could’ve named this movie “Mark Wahlberg getting chased by monkeys for two hours” and no aspect of the movie would have seemed out of place. The character development doesn’t really exist at all, and we really have a hard time understanding what's happening half the time due to lack of… well for lack of a better word, lack of anything. I will say this for the movie though, the effects were pretty good. Regardless, I was so excited about this movie and how was I rewarded? A cuppla crappy fighting scenes and some running around in the woods. And seriously, what's wrong with the ending? Could they have messed it up any more? I have nothing more to say about this movie because, really, there isn’t any more.


Hulk (2003)



You know how most movies have a beginning, a middle, and an end? Sometimes, as is the case with Memento, The Usual Suspects, any Tarantino movie, etc… movies show the beginning, middle, and end all mixed up and it makes for a very mind-capturing movie right? But usually movies just show them in that order, beginning - middle - end. Well the problem with Hulk was that its beginning lasted for two hours and then we were hit with the end. No middle, the beginning was boring, and the end was weird and didn’t fit very well. But the thing that pissed me off was that they made it out to be like the best movie ever! I remember all the trailers for it and they ended showing Hulk’s crazy green eyes fading into the word HULK. What an intriguing trailer. There were billboards everywhere advertising this movie. I had to see it. But then it sucked. I walked out of the theater and asked for my money back. I’d never done that before, but I was pissed. How could Hollywood do that to me? Especially with one of my favorite superheroes! Its all just so aggravating and I was sorely disappointed. But I will say this, Edward Norton made up for it in the other one. The better one.



Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999)



I sat outside the theater for who knows how many hours waiting to see this supposed-to-be-amazing movie. I sat in my seat prepared to be blown away, I’d been waiting for this ever since I’d seen Vader chuck the Emperor over that balcony thing. This movie just had to be good right? But then I just continued sitting there with my mind turning into a pile of mush. I couldn’t speak. Why were all the characters so freaking boring? Why are the aliens suddenly speaking English laced with a horrible Chinese accent? And honestly, the amount of CGI in this movie is way too much, c'mon. But then something happened that I don’t know if I will ever get over: Jar Jar Binks. I know its like, a huge cliché to hate him, but clichés are clichés for a reason. Jar Jar Binks was the worst thing I had ever experienced. Ya know when you're driving along and you see road kill or a car accident and you know its gruesome and disgusting but you just have to look anyways? THAT’S Jar Jar. Then there's Darth Maul, who really could have made this movie good, but we only get him for maybe fifteen minutes. Can't we get just a little more, please? And I am still amazed that Darth Vader built C-3PO. It just doesn’t fit. But honestly my biggest problem with Episode One wasn’t even Jar Jar. Who is The Phantom Menace? Is it Darth Maul? Is it Anakin? Why on earth did Lucas name this move The Phantom Menace? I thank God every day that, if I want to, I can pop in any of the other Star Wars movies and try and erase this one from my memory. Lucas may have redeemed himself in 2005 with Revenge Of The Sith, but lets hope he doesn’t try for number seven, shall we?

The 10 Most Powerful Telekinetics in Movie History

George Malley (Phenomenon)



This is the most realistic depiction of what it would be like if someone actually got telekinesis in real life, but it’s also the mildest. George’s powers only extended to twirling glasses around or making pens roll. At his peak he made a mirror shatter.

George’s powers were better served creating alternative energy sources (yeah, even back in the nineties) and predicting earthquakes. Telekinesis was just a side effect of his massive intelligence (and brain tumor, spoilers!).


Matilda (Matilda)



Out of all of these choices, I think Matilda may be my favorite telekinetic on the list. She uses the power the way a kid actually would, helping out her friends and screwing over her mean parents and teachers. Sure she’s not going to level any cities, but convincing her evil headmistress that her house is haunted by making a painting of her dead relative attack her is pretty hilarious.


Mary Poppins (Mary Poppins)



Many will argue with me that Mary Poppins is a witch, and not a telekinetic, but you’re wrong. She has powers the same as everyone else on this list, and just because this movie is crazy old, doesn’t mean it’s not hip with the psychic superpowers of the present.

Normally she only uses her powers to do things like clean rooms and reprimand children, but the fact that she can use the ability to make herself fly propels her above the last two entrants on the list.


Alice (Resident Evil Apocalypse)



I was never really clear on when exactly Alice got telekinetic powers. I think it was the third movie, but I’m not positive. In any case, she does the typical “throw things around” maneuver that all telekinetics know and love, and as I recall she has some sort of psychic mind blast as well.

Details are fuzzy here so let me know if I’m getting this wrong, but I don’t think she uses her powers that extensively, making her sort of lame.

Nick (Push)



Now we’re really getting into the “combat telekinetics” who use their powers less for amusement and more for kicking ass. Unfortunately, Nick’s powers in mediocre superhero thriller Push aren’t exactly the stuff of legend.

He’s got a neat force push, the ability to hover guns above his head and aim them poorly, and some kinetic punches and elbows that look pretty neat, but he’s still on the shallow end of the power scale.

Yoda (The Empire Strikes Back)

Yes, shut up. The Force is totally telekinesis. That being said, I had to think of the most powerful Jedi we’ve seen onscreen. If we were expanding into video games it would probably be Whats-His-Face Starkiller from The Force Unleashed, who can capsize entire Star Destroyers with his mind, but I’m sticking to the movies.

I’m picking Yoda here, because I think he has a better overall understanding of the Force than the Emperor and Vader even with their lighting and choking. The best demonstration of his power would have to be his lifting of Luke’s X-Wing out of the swamp, but I bet he could do way more if he wanted to.


Mewtwo (Pokemon: The First Movie)



Yeah, that’s right, Pokemon mother****ers. I’m going there. Mewtwo is a genetically engineering mammal with a hefty psychic ability. He can obliterate Team Rocket’s headquarters without batting an eyelash and has a mean psychic beam that will blow your head clean off. Well, if this wasn’t a G-rated cartoon that is.


Carrie (Carrie)



For being a scared little high school girl for most of the movie, Carrie is one of the most powerful figures on this list. Let’s see, she literally trapped her classmates in a burning gym, cooking them all as revenge for getting a blood bucket dumped on her, she stopped her mom’s heart with her mind and then as a grand finale, sucked her entire house into hell. Not bad.


Jean Grey/Phoenix (X-Men: The Last Stand)



In the third X-Men movie, Jean Grey was so ridiculously overpowered as Phoenix that you had to wonder why any of the other mutants even bothered showing up. She had graduated from telekinetically helping Cyclops skeet shoot clay pigeons to literally turning him into ash. She also ate up Professor X and a whole host of other mutants, cars and buildings in the grand finale, before Wolverine gutted her. Really, that’s all it took?



Akira (Akira)



When I first sat down to write this list, I thought for sure that Phoenix would be number one. Then I remembered Akira.

His psychic powers are so massive, he’s considered a weapon of mass destruction and he singlehandedly levels the entire city of Tokyo in the film, sparking World War III. Seeing that there is absolutely nothing else that can compete with that, so therefore I crown Akira the king of all telekinetics in the history of ever.

The Top 10 Greatest Fat Guy Role Models

Life is hard for a fat guy. Not only do we have to face the same trials and endurance tests as the rest of humanity, but we also have to do it with a non-metaphorical elephant on our backs. Thankfully, there are some flabby fellows even fatter than you and I combined who have managed to overcome the weight of our weight without having to resort to drastic measures like proper diet, exercise, or Richard Simmons.

Kevin Smith

This Jersey boy has the kind of success story that most film students dream about in-between (and probably during, judging by the lack of adequate customer service) shifts at the local burger shack. He dropped out of film school, and used the rest of his unpaid tuition and a couple of maxed-out credit cards to finance his first film "Clerks." The move paid off more than just his credit cards. He's earned a national reputation as a renowned screenwriter and film director (as long as you don't count "Jersey Girl") and has had a chubby hand or two in more than a few big name comic book and movie properties before they even reached the big screen. Few film directors have come as far and as fast as Smith, which is ironic since judging by his size he probably gets winded from running just a few feet.


George Foreman


He may look like a big tub of lard, but call him one and watch what happens. He's not only one of the world's most gifted haymaker slingers, but he's also one of the world's most gifted and talented athletes. The boxer who puts the "heavy" in "heavyweight" has only five losses in his 30-year career and holds the distinction of being the oldest heavyweight champion in professional boxing history. Even in his retirement, he used his flab to fuel his livelihood by inventing a grilling machine that drains the fat from burgers and fries into a convenient dipping tray for French fries.


Nick Frost

Anyone who has ever sampled British cuisine must wonder how anyone can eat enough to get fat from it. Believe it or not, Britain has its fair share of fat people and actor Nick Frost has become a rotund role model for British and American audiences. He started working in a Mexican restaurant but thanks to his close pal, Simon Pegg he has become the Oliver Hardy to Pegg's Stan Laurel, except Frost gets all the laughs for being the oafish goofball in moves like "Shaun of The Dead" and "Hot Fuzz." He has also struck out on his own as a writer/actor and has become a patron saint of fatties among film geeks and aficionados across the globe. He made being the fat, funny guy cool again.


 President Theodore Roosevelt


William Howard Taft might be known as the fattest President who ever lived, but Teddy outweighs him in so many other areas, which is a hell of a lot if you've ever seen Taft's "Mount Rushmore-ish" ass. He took up boxing at the age of nine and eventually developed a lifelong love of wild and dangerous animals, particularly with shooting them during his adventurous hunting trips to Africa. He upped his coolness quotient by riding with the famed "Rough Riders" during the Spanish-American War and became a renowned President who brought the country everything from the Panama Canal to Abraham Lincoln's face on the penny, a face that has graced the floors of cars and crevices of couch cushions for years to come.


Drew Carey

The Cleveland comedian came from very humble beginnings as a portly stand-up, then become the creator of one of the longest running shows on television, and goes on to host a show that's been on longer than most TV test patterns. He started as a road comic who sometimes lived out of his car before earning a coveted spot on Johnny Carson's couch. This led to his own sitcom deal that lasted almost a decade and launched the careers of "Scrubs" star Krista Miller, and late night legend Craig Ferguson. Not bad for a guy, who when he puts on a Speedo "looks like a Bartlett pair with a rubber band wrapped around the bottom." Managing to get one of those on that frame is an amazing accomplishment. Don't ask me how I know that.


Homer Simpson


The man may not be fully furnished in the brain department; but what he's earned and learned despite his lack of motivation, intellectualism and personal hygiene habits are more than astounding. He's got a smoking hot wife who couldn't be more out of his league then if she played for the NFL and he played in an online fantasy football franchise. He has managed to live the kind of American dream that was possible before the stock market turned into a never-ending plane crash. But through it all, he's also a dear, sensitive man who loves his family no matter how much they torture him and tries to do his best for them, even if his intellect and appetite get in his way. He truly has a heart that is as big as his waistline, even if it's running at 50 percent capacity because of years and years of pork rings and cheap beer.


Luciano Pavarotti


So he's not on your iPod or even plays on one of the stations programmed on your car's satellite radio hookup. That doesn't mean he shouldn't be respected and admired for the many doors he has opened and passed through, even if he had to grease himself up to get through them. His renowned vocal talent has made him a global superstar and helped bring Opera into several corners of the mainstream. He became the first Opera singer to perform on "Saturday Night Live" and holds several world records including the performer with the most curtain calls, and the highest selling classical album of all time. How's your album doing since you posted the whole thing for free on MySpace?


Babe Ruth


The Bambino has become one of the world's most revered athletic talents, even though he had a fat frame that looked as though the only sport he could become a legend at was competitive hot dog eating. This homerun-making machine defined what it meant to be a slugger long before the advent of anabolic steroids and horse tranquilizers. He singlehandedly led the New York Yankees famed "Murderers' Row" into the history books before George Steinbrenner would turn the term into what he does to all-star ball players' careers after he gets his grubby mitts on them.


Jackie Gleason


Before this Brooklyn beefer came along, fat people in films were nothing more than punchlines to some really cruel jokes. Gleason's charming style and cool demeanor not only made him funny, but a legend as big as his shirt size. His work on early television and "The Honeymooners" defined the advent of television comedy for years to come. His performances in dramatic roles, most notably as pool shark Minnesota Fats in "The Hustler" brought a certain gracefulness to his wide frame. Every hefty guy who ever got a girl to tear up the dance floor with them for their senior prom have Gleason to thank for scoring them a date.



Ron Jeremy


Don't pretend that you don't know why the Hedgehog is number one on this list. The world's most famous porn star looks like he should be the world's most famous excuse not to go to nude beaches, and yet he has a roster of ex-girlfriends and one night stands that could rival Wilt Chamberlain's hunting list. And the craziest part is, he gets paid to get laid! I think I'm going to end this feature so I can punch my high school guidance counselor in the throat.

The Top 10 Artists That Should've Quit When They Were Ahead

There are so many talented musicians that left this world during the peak of their career. Some say it’s tragic, and others may argue that it protected them from getting old, losing their talent, and eventually selling out. Short of dying, strategic retirement stops the artist from creating works that will stain their career, and it keeps a pure and perfect image of them in the minds of their dedicated fans.


U2


I’ve said in the past that Joshua Tree is not my favorite U2 album, but if Bono and the boys stopped making music around this time they would be hailed as one of the greatest bands of all time--no questions asked. Thanks, Brian Eno.

Instead, U2 seems to deliver watered-down throwaway pop-rock year in and year out. If I have to sit through another crappy award show performance with Bono still acting like he’s hip and relevant, I’m going to puke up my Cheerios. The band has become a cartoon cutout of their former selves. The only reason why dedicated fans still rush to see them is so they can watch the band perform the classic hits that made them popular in the first place. I don’t think die-hards are really praying for U2 to do Zooropa in its entirety on a live stage. If so, they should be stoned to death. Either way, the band’s image would have been immortalized if they went off the grid before they could do an incredible amount of damage to themselves by trying to consistently recreate the same success as The Joshua Tree.

Bono’s humanitarian is one of the few notable thing he’s done in the last 20 years.


Rivers Cuomo



After the release of Pinkerton, something happened to Rivers Cuomo. He changed. The dork who was attending Harvard and used his new knowledge of music theory to expand his art was no more. There have been a number of rumors regarding Rivers’ mental issues and I’m not really sure what to believe. The only proof I have is in the music and The Green Album showed Rivers devolve into a paper-thin version of the person he use to be.

In my opinion, Weezer’s The Blue Album and Pinkerton are two if the best albums of the ‘90s. The Green Album was a whole different story. The album lacked the band’s initial imagination, intelligence, and dry wit of their first two classic LPs. I think things would have been a little bit better for Rivers’ music legacy if he had just pulled the plug on his music career and did something else.


Nas


If you look up lists of the greatest hip-hop albums of all time, Illmatic usually rates in the top three spots. This is because it’s one of the greatest f***ing albums ever made.

Now if Nas realized this and bought a Winnebago before the release of It Was Written, fans and journalists would have turned him into a hip-hop legend and we would be putting him in the upper echelon of the greatest MCs of all-time without even batting an eye. I do understand that some may do this now, but with tracks like “Hate Me Now” there are numerous weak elements of his career that can be used as ammo against the New York native’s so-called greatness. Even though It Was Written was looked at as not being on par with Illmatic, sentimental classics like “If I Ruled the World (Imagine That)” would have easily eclipsed any harsh criticisms if he had hung up his mic.


Metallica


…And Justice For All and Death Magnetic are both very good efforts, but if the entire band of Metallica retired after the fatal bus crash that took Cliff Burton’s life back in 1986, we would have been left with enough thrash to satisfy all of us till the end of time. The only thing that I could argue, though, is the fact that Metallica’s 1989 tour might have been the very best in the history of their career. The band was tighter than ever and they were playing with a ferocity that could have rivaled any metal band of that era. Even Slayer. Yeah, I said it.

With that said, things would have been much better off if the entire machine known as Metallica hadn’t made it into the 1990s. Just the idea of the band not meeting Bob Rock makes me very, very happy.


Eric Clapton


Clapton has had a pretty wild career. If the man had ridden off into the sunset before he could make it to the ‘80s I can guarantee you there would have already been a movie made about his life and it probably would have been directed by Marty Scorsese. From The Yardbirds to Cream to Blind Faith and even to Derek and the Dominos, this man has had one of the most legendary musical careers in the history of popular music.

I’m not gonna get too deep about the tragedies of his life and how he persevered to get to where he is today, but I will try to state my case on why it would have been better if his music had ceased by the end of ‘70s. The early 1980s saw Clapton return to form and prestige due to numerous collaborations with some of music’s biggest names, but the content itself was nowhere the caliber it had been in the ‘60s-‘70s. His new over-produced Phil Collins sound transformed Clapton from a raw blues axe man into a packaged product ready for the new MTV audience. Even if you like the unplugged version of “Layla,” you do have to admit it was kinda sad to hear Clapton’s music get so mellow and completely predictable.


Eminem

I’ve said this many times in the past, but one more go ain’t gonna hurt nothin’. 8 Mile was a pretty good movie, but we all know that this caused the end of Eminem. Everything he did after this was complete sentimental bulls***. If it wasn’t for the popularity of “Lose Yourself” he probably would have never attempted more hip-pop ballads like "Like Toy Soldiers" and "When I'm Gone." Marshall was never the same MC after the release of this song. His anger, raw energy and unpredictable lyrical content went right down the freakin’ tubes.

If Em would have called it quits after The Marshall Mathers LP and did his reclusive Elvis thang, his legacy would have been much better off. Just seeing him try to be controversial in the video for “We Made You” brings a tear to my inner-eyeball.


Brian Wilson


Here goes nothin’. Out of the gate I have to say that Brian recorded mostly all of the tracks on Smile before he went completely off the deep end on cocaine. It was possible to get your hands on numerous bootlegs before the 2004 version was even reworked. If he took time off to address his battle with drugs and never returned, Wilson and The Beach Boys' legacy would have been impossible to deny. With Brian gone, The Beach Boys would have been looked at in a whole different light. Even though he had nothing to with the recording of “Kokomo,” I’m sure people just assumed Brian was involved in the project because he was alive and still touring with the band. Damn you, Cocktail soundtrack.

The release of Smiley Smile was the band's true fall from greatness, due to the fact that it was a pieced-together LP that consisted of new mediocre songs and unused instrumentals from Brian’s original Smile. This failed attempt at releasing the greatest rock 'n' roll album ever destroyed Brian and the band was never the same again. For me, the release of Smile in 2004 had less to do about the music and more to do with the return of Brian himself. The press received on Wilson’s triumphant return just seemed to overshadow the music.

Brian will still be looked at as one of the greatest musical minds of our time, but seeing him in such a zombie-like sedated state for the past few decades just seems to be very harsh and cruel to the incredible man he once was.


Axl Rose/Guns N' Roses


Axl had his shot to redeem himself with Chinese Democracy and failed with flying colors. We all gave the guy a chance to make up for years of band drama, endless recording sessions, and walking out on live shows. And don’t get me started on the douchiness of Velvet Revolver. If the band folded up the tent in ‘92 we would have had no The Spaghetti Incident?, no breakup, and no f***ing rehab. GNR would have been placed on the same pedestal as Jimi, Morrison, and Skynyrd. Our memories of them would have been pure and not tainted with images of Axl and his horrible hair extensions at the 2002 Video Music Awards.



 Michael Jackson


After the massive success of Thriller in ’83, Michael Jackson was a changed man. The unprecedented fame, money, and power all went to his head and transformed him into a completely different beast. How many pop stars have you seen run with an army of a third world country? The man was like a God to some people. This kind of attention and worship led Jackson to believe that he was something supernatural. When he performed at the BRIT Awards in 1996, surrounded by children and a rabbi while making Christlike poses, it made me realize that this man had truly lost his natural mind.

Could you imagine what would have happened if he retried in his prime, though? The chances of child molestation charges making the front page of the paper would be lessened. The same goes for the nose-collapsing crap. We would have statues of the man all over the country. He was 30 years old when Bad was released, and that would have been the perfect time for him to step away before everything spun out of control. Imagine if he did it just after the 1984 Pepsi burning incident.



Elvis Presley


On March 24, 1958, Elvis was inducted as a U.S. Army private at Fort Chaffee near Fort Smith, Arkansas. There are Presley fans out there that feel that The King was never the same after he got back from his stint in the service. John Lennon was even quoted as saying, “Elvis really died the day he joined the army. That's when they killed him, and the rest was a living death.” I completely agree with this. He was never the same artist. Not only did they shave off his legendary locks, they seemed to strip him of his balls and unpredictable energy. He did have a few good tunes after the army, but it was never quite the same.

Elvis had also been introduced to amphetamines around this time in Germany and we all know where this led him. This is why it would have been much better for his legacy if Elvis has just stepped away and avoided getting fat and dying on a toilet.

Deepika Padukone more beautiful than Angelina Jolie

Hollywood superstar Angelina Jolie is facing competition in the looks department by none other than Bollywood starlet Deepika Padukone.
Padukone who made headlines by debuting opposite superstar, Shahrukh Khan, has been hailed more beautiful than Jolie by `The Fast and the Furious` director Rob Cohen, FemaleFirst reported.

"Deepika Padukone is gorgeous and is more beautiful than Angelina Jolie," Dohen said.

Cohen, whose credits includes `The Witches of Eastwick` and `The Fast and the Furious`, `Dragon: The Bruce Lee Story` has even indicated that he is interested in casting the the Indian beauty for his next film project, the website said.

Padukone is a favourite in the world of fashion, having endorsed International brands like Maybelline and Levi`s in the past.

She was also the most searched celebrity on Yahoo! India in 2008, surpassing Bollywood favourites Aishwarya Rai and Shilpa Shetty.

Nicole Scherzinger sings naked in the bath in new video

 Pussycat Dolls vocalist Nicole Scherzinger has set the pulse racing with a revealing new video for Hush Hush; Hush Hush.
The 30-year-old singer, who’s dating F1 star Lewis Hamilton, is seen singing naked in the bath tube in the new video, reports the Sun. 

Meanwhile, American pop star is reportedly hunting for a dazzling engagement ring for her forthcoming engagement ceremony with beau Lewis Hamilton.

Nicole is currently hunting for an exquisite diamond ring, and has been visiting multifarious jewellery stores to buy one for the occasion.

Nicole has been dating Brit formula one racer Hamilton for a year.

Kareena Kapoor gives Sudhir Mishra sleepless nights!

Bollywood director Sudhir Mishra, who is quite busy with his upcoming flick ‘Dhruv’, is in a fix – all thanks to B-town beauty Kareena Kapoor. 
According to the latest buzz, Kareena, who plays a politician in ‘Dhruv,’ has no dates for the poor director! Apparently, after allotting bulk dates to beau Saif Ali Khan’s ‘Agent Vinod,’ the dainty lass gave remnant dates to ‘Dhruv’, which also stars Farhan Akhtar.

Nevertheless, with the ongoing producer-multiplex feud, Saif has postponed the release of ‘Love Aaj Kal’ – his first home production, thereby upsetting the shoot schedule of ‘Agent Vinod.’ As a result, Kareena’s dates for Saif’s ‘Agent Vinod’ are now clashing with Sudhir Mishra’s ‘Dhruv.’ 

Sudhir, who wanted to begin with the shoot of ‘Dhruv’ on 15th September, is not being able to convince Kareena to play the lead role in his flick. Sudhir says, “I can’t imagine anyone else playing that role. ‘Dhruv’ doesn’t have one but two heroes — Farhan and Kareena. She plays a combination of Paro in ‘Devdas’ and Lady Macbeth.”

Poor Sudhir is keeping his fingers crossed and is more than willing to adjust dates to suit Kareena’s hectic schedule, in case the lissome actress agrees to play the lead. Yet, if nothing works out, Sudhir will be offering the role to Chitrangada Singh. Obviously!

Web's Worst Celebrity Impersonators

America loves the familiar face of a celebrity. But what if you aren't famous? Then what? Well, the next best thing would be to look like a beloved, familiar face of a star. It's pure genetics with more than half the talent! Unfortunately, some of these characters are either sorely misguided or improperly assigned to their jobs. So it's time to look into some of the worst celebrity impersonators on the Web and wonder, Do they actually make a living off this?

Larry King

Larry King? Seriously? This guy should try a more appropriate gig, like impersonating Rick Moranis in "Ghostbusters."


Donald Trump
All Trump needs to tell this impersonator is, "You're fired!"


Howie Mandel
OK, this Howie Mandel impersonator has the bald head down. Check. He's got the suit. Check. But he looks much more like Lex Luthor. 



Judge Judy
Hey, Judge Judy impersonator, "Don't pee on my leg and tell me it's raining!"


Bill Gates
Hey look! It's some guy who looks like he does Bill Gates' taxes. (Photo courtesy of classique-productions.com)



Dr. Phil
Dr. Phil, who's this guy wearing a bald wig and trying to pass himself off as you? 


Alan Alda
This guy's not so bad, but when you specify you want an Alan Alda make sure it's Alan Alda circa 1975 and not old Alan Alda. (Photo courtesy of celebrityimpersonators.com)


Hillary Clinton
The real Hillary Clinton looks pissed off that this impersonator would even try to pass herself off as the genuine article. (Photo courtesy of celebrityimpersonators.com)



Norm from "Cheers"
First of all, is there a high demand for a Norm impersonator? What do you do with a Norm impersonator once you hire him? Do you just let him sit at your bar and drink all your beer? (Photo courtesy of classique-productions.com)



Regis Philbin
Well, they both hold money. They both wear suits. But the similarities end there.