What’s Guy-Fi? That’s our convenient, collective name for movies that fall into the Vampire/ Horror/ Sci-Fi/ Superhero/ Fantasy/ Comic Book/ Graphic Novel genres and have elements of guy movies. We felt that these genre guy movies deserved their own section, separate from the more mainstream guy movies. About half of these are over two hours, so make lots of popcorn.
10. Beowulf. Because after Lara Croft, Tomb Raider, almost every guy wants to see Angelina Jolie stark naked, even if it’s just through impressive 3D animation. This is based on Neil Gaiman and Roger Avary’s screenplay, which in turn is based on the anonymous Anglo-Saxon poem “Beowulf”, written between the 8th and 11th centuries in England.
9. Swordfish. This movie is a bit over the top, but the concept is that a bunch of counter-terrorists want $9.5B of funds the DEA’s SWORDFISH operation has amassed from 15 years of compound interest. But to get at the funds requires the decryption skills of a master hacker who wants no part of the digital heist. Besides being an entertaining thriller, there are two great reasons to see Swordfish. One is for the incredible 360-degree panorama scene in which multiple cameras were arranged in a circle and electronically synchronized. When the blast goes off, you get to see it in slow motion from literally all sides. The second is for Halle Berry’s bare breasts (say that ten times fast), for which she was paid an extra $500,000.
8. Hellboy. For the concept alone, not to mention Ron Perlman as Hellboy (a demon who fights for good), and goofy hot Selma Blair as his love interest, but also for great creatures and great effects. A comic book classic turned into a movie. Director Guillermo del Toro is a master.
7. From Dusk Till Dawn. These are the meanest damn bar vampires you ever did see. A classic Robert Rodriguez Latin American western/ action/ thriller flick jam-packed with some of the baddest vampires around, not to mention George Clooney and Quentin Tarantino as escaped bank robbers, and luscious Salma Hayek doing a striptease/ lapdance with a boa constrictor around her neck. Ultra-gory. Gives me nightmares every time I watch it. B-movie vampire heaven.
6. Blade. Wesley Snipes might have had his ass handed to him recently thanks to tax evasion charges, but in this movie he’s handing out the vampire asses. Not your grandpa’s vampire movie, it has some of the baddest vampires in cinema history. Best scenes: the gorefest on the dance floor, with the techno music blaring. Wesley Snipes takes method acting to new levels.
5. Bram Stoker’s Dracula. Was there ever as incredible a Count Dracula as Gary Oldman’s rendition? Or even as exotic and aggressively sensual a treatment of this classic story as this Francis Ford Coppola version, despite Keanu Reeves’ woodenness? The sets are authentic-seeming, the vampiresses both tempting and frightening. And when the scene changes back to London and more mundane matters, you might actually find yourself anticipating the Count’s arrival.
4. Shaun of the Dead. This one could have gone in our “guy comedies” list, but what’s horrifying is that most of the zombies in Shaun of the Dead don’t really look all that different from real people living in a zombie state of mind. Throw in the world’s worst roommate, and that dry, classic British humor, and you have a cult guy-fi classic. Though I’m not sure which is scarier - the roommate from hell or the zombies.
3. V for Vendetta. Natalie Portman is nearly every geek guy’s dream, and in V for Vendetta, she’s Evey, the damsel in distress. V is the freedom fighter, wearing a Guy Fawkes mask, who rescues her from a futuristic, totalitarian Britain. V for Vendetta is a hybrid gothic/ sci-fi tale adapted from David Lloyd’s graphic novel of the same name.
2. Batman Begins. Arguably the grittiest Batman movie to date (at least until Batman: The Dark Knight, with Heath Ledger as The Joker, comes out later this year), it shows a more detailed view of how Bruce Wayne received his martial arts and critical thinking training from the criminal Ra’s Al Ghul.
1. The Matrix. “If you were in a dream world and couldn’t wake, how would you know the difference between the dream world and the real world?” The Wachowski brothers Andy and Larry gives us one of the best science fiction movies of the past 20 years, marrying incredible graphics, martials arts, and fight sequences with political commentary. Who knew how pretty prescient this movie was about how we’d end up living our lives online?
