Movie: Clerks II
Song: "ABC," The Jackson 5
The dance: This is the least offensive one on the list by far, mainly because of the Randal dance and Rosario Dawson's flawlessly jiggly chest, but it's definitely as awkward as it is funny.
Most awkward moment: Jay and Silent Bob are hilarious, but pigtails aren't a good look for them.
Movie: Once Bitten
Song: Some random cheesy song from the '80s
The dance: Two extremely typical '80s chicks dance to compete for the affection of Jim Carrey, who hams it up like Canadians at breakfast.
Most awkward moment: Jim Carrey plays his leg like a guitar at 1:07. Hilarity ensues.
Movie: A Knight's Tale
Song: "Golden Years," David Bowie
The dance: Heath Ledger is cool in our book, but watching him prance around a medieval ballroom to a David Bowie song is certainly on the other end of the manliness spectrum as the Joker.
Most awkward moment: The do-si-do at 1:55 makes Brokeback Mountain look like The Magnificent Seven.
Movie: Swingers
Song: "Go Daddy-O," Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
The dance: It's odd to think that when Swingers came out, the swing music revival was still in full effect. Even if it was cool back then, it sure as hell doesn't translate now.
Most awkward moment: The worst part is easily the puppy dog look Vince Vaughn shoots the dancing Favreau at 1:44.
Movie: American Wedding
Song: "Maniac," Michael Sembello; "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of This)," Eurythmics; "Heaven Is a Place on Earth," Belinda Carlisle; "Venus," Bananarama; "The Reflex," Duran Duran
The dance: The dancing is bad, but the music is worse. It's like they sat down and said, "We need to pick a shitty '80s song for this stupid dance-off. But man, it's almost lunch. Let's just cram all of them in there."
Most awkward moment: Stifler's cringe-inducing entrance is only eight seconds into the video. It doesn't get much worse after that, but it sure doesn't get any better.
Movie: 13 Going on 30
Song: "Thriller," Michael Jackson
The dance: Jennifer Garner looks good, but it can't make up for the Michael Jackson–powered shindig that happens in the middle of this chick flick.
Most awkward moment: At 1:46, an extra joins in with the dancing, which officially kicks off the annoying shit storm of nostalgic nonsense.
Movie: Cruising
Song: Something we've never heard before and hope to never hear again.
The dance: Al Pacino, whose undercover police assignment has taken him into a hard-core gay club, huffs some drugs off of a rag and then flails around like…well…he just huffed a bunch of drugs off of a rag.
Most awkward moment: The video has man-on-man make-out sessions and fisting, but the dancing at 2:09 still takes the (beef) cake.
Movie: Spider-Man 3
Song: We're not sure what the name of the song is, but we consider it the death march of a once-watchable franchise.
The dance: Peter Parker takes his newfound emo haircut for a spin on the dance floor of a jazz club. Think the dance scene from The Mask, only 100 times worse and in the middle of a movie that should've kicked ass.
Most awkward moment: We'd like to meet the man who wrote the line, "Now dig on this," and punch him right in the eye. Watch until 1:13, and you'll feel the same way.
Movie: Legally Blonde
Song: "The Bend and Snap"
The dance: What started as a cheesy scene in Legally Blonde spawned a Broadway musical, which we all know are the natural enemy of human men. The dance involves bending over and standing back up. Even the Soulja Boy is more complicated than that.
Most awkward moment: The original version keeps getting deleted off of YouTube, so we're giving you the Broadway version. Listen to the lyrics of the song, and you should be sufficiently horrified.
Movie: Karate Kid II
Song: "Rock Around the Clock"
The dance: Ralph Macchio ditches the karate outfit and heads out to the sock hop with his girl, only to put on one of the most pathetic displays of wimpiness we've ever seen. Even from Ralph Macchio.
Most awkward moment: Forward to 0:42 seconds if you're interested in seeing some of the most pathetic air guitar ever captured on film.
Movie: Kickboxer
Song: Generic synthesized '80s dance music
The dance: It's obvious that JC has a ridiculous amount of control over his limbs, which is why it's so shocking when he dances worse than Elaine Benes at an office party. It's so tragic that we love it.
Most awkward moment: Can JC's pants be a moment?