blog how to, blog trick, blog tips, tutorial blog, blog hack

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Top 20 Movie Falls

Alec Trevelyan in Goldeneye



Once upon a time, Alec Trevelyan and James Bond (Pierce Brosnan) were the best of friends. Then Trevelyan was killed during a mission toward the end of the Cold War, and Bond continued to be a boozy womanizer.

This being a Bond film, however, it turns out that Trevelyan merely faked his own death, and has now stolen the keys to the GoldenEye satellite, which is capable of emitting an electromagnetic pulse that can knock out any electronics, and he is holding Britain ransom as revenge for the deaths of his parents. Bond is sent to stop his former chum, and they end up fighting atop a massive radio antenna cradle that is situated high above the ground.

After a grueling battle, Bond tosses Trevelyan off the cradle, and the villain plummets to the ground. Miraculously he survives the fall…at least until the antenna cradle comes crashing down on top of him. Worse, Trevelyan can't even hit the reset button on his N64 and simply start the level over.





Chev Chelios in Crank



Chev Chelios is just trying to stay alive. See, earlier he was injected with a slow acting poison, and the only way to keep the poison at bay is to keep his adrenaline flowing. So Chev has been running around town, engaging in all sorts of extreme behavior as he searches for the man who killed him.

When he finally gets his hands on the guy, they both just happen to be in a helicopter that is flying high above the city. Chev pulls the guy out the chopper, and they both plummet toward the ground at high speed. Not content to let gravity do the job, Chev strangles his murderer to death, and then lets the limp body go sailing away.

Chev then pulls out his cell phone and says good-bye to his girlfriend before bouncing off the hood of a car and landing on the ground with a thud. Then he blinks, thus setting up an even crazier sequel, with the tagline: "He was dead... but he got better."




Billy Score in Sharky's Machine



Dar Robinson has huge balls. To paraphrase Bill Hicks, he probably needed specially fitted jeans and a wheelbarrow to transport his massive cojones around. For those who don't know, Robinson still holds the record for the highest free-fall stunt ever performed for the time he leapt off of Atlanta's Westin Peachtree Hotel and plunged 220 feet with only a safety wire and an inflatable airbag standing between him and the sidewalk below.

Despite the fact that Dar "Steel Testes" Robinson actually jumped off a building for his art, director Burt Reynolds only used a split second shot of the actual stunt, substituting footage of a falling dummy in the final film. Nonetheless, Robinson's willingness to toss himself of a building all in the name of authenticity is enough to earn him a spot on this list.




Norville Barnes in The Hudsucker Proxy



Norville Barnes is having a bad day. Hours earlier, he was the Golden Boy of New York; his new invention, the hula hoop, made him an overnight sensation, and he managed to catch the eye of the lovely reporter, Amy Archer (Jennifer Jason Leigh). Unfortunately, he also ran afoul of Sidney J. Mussberger (Paul Newman), who has convinced the world that he actually invented the hula hoop, and Norville simply stole the idea.

Now an angry mob is out for Norville's head, and he escapes to the top floor of the Hudsucker skyscraper. Norville slips and falls off the building at the stroke of midnight, but is saved at the last minute when the ghost of Waring Hudsucker (Charles Durning) stops time and informs Norville that he now owns the controlling shares of Hudsucker Industries. Time resumes, and Norville lands safely on the ground, where he reunites with Amy and goes on to invent the Frisbee.





Gollum in Lord Of The Rings: Return of the King



Pity poor Smeagol; first the dim but well-meaning hobbit finds the One Ring, and while it bestows upon him long life, it also shrivels him up and turns him into a dead ringer for one of those progeria kids that are always being trotted out on the Maury Povich show.

Then he loses the ring, and gets captured and tortured by Sauron's goons. Then he has to spend two whole movies watching Elijah Wood and Sean Astin make moony eyes at one another, and then after all that, when he finally gets his precious back, he falls to his death into a pit of molten lava. Not the most noble of deaths, but at least he was spared of having to suffer through the three different agonizingly long endings that Peter Jackson tacked on to Return Of The King.




Sarah in Cliffhanger



While trying to rescue two of his friends from being stranded on a lonely mountaintop, Gabe Walker (Sylvester Stallone) shows off his impressive climbing skills, shaming both William Shatner and Tom Cruise in the process.

He manages to get Hal (Michael Rooker) safely off the peak and into a helicopter, but Sarah is not so lucky. As she makes her way across the chasm, her harness breaks, and she is left dangling perilously high above the ground. Walker makes his way out to try and save her, and manages to get a hold of her hand just as the harness gives way.

Unfortunately, she loses her grip and plummets to her death on the rocks below, and all her helpless and useless boyfriend can do is watch and wail from the safety of the helicopter. Ladies first, douche!




Madeleine Elster/Judy Barton in Vertigo



John "Scottie" Ferguson (James Stewart) is a cop with a fear of heights. So when he falls in love with the suicidal Madeleine Elster and takes her to an old monastery with a really high bell tower, he's just asking for trouble. After she leaps to her death from the top of the tower, Scottie has a nervous breakdown.

Then he meets Judy Barton, a young lady who could almost pass for Scottie's late, lamented love. Almost, that is, until Scottie obsessively makes her over into the spitting image of poor, dead Madeleine. Eventually, Scottie figures out that Judy may have had a substantial part to play in Maddy's death, and he takes her back to the top of the bell tower to confront her about this.

Sadly, Scottie's rather awful luck with women holds, and poor Judy plunges to her own death. Man, Hitch just hated women.




Father Karras in the Exorcist



After his mother's death, Father Damien Karras has begun to doubt his faith. Then he learns that a young girl named Regan (Linda Blair) has become possessed by a demon, and that he is the only person who can help her. So with the help of the wizened old Father Merrin (Max Von Sydow), Father Karras attempts to drive the devil out of Regan.

However, the wily beast proves to be more powerful than they could have imagined, and during the battle Father Merrin suffers a heart attack. Finally, when all hope seems lost, Father Karras tricks the demon into leaving Regan's body and entering his own, at which point he throws himself out the window, and he tumbles down a flight of stairs to his apparent death.

Apparent, because he pops up 10 years later in the unnecessary but still good second sequel, The Exorcist III.




Mola Ram in Indiana Jones And The Temple Of Doom



Mola Ram can pull a person's heart from his chest and show it to him before lowering the screaming sap into a pit of molten lava, all while the victim is still alive. So it should come as no surprise that it would take a lot to dispatch him from this mortal coil.

Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones (Harrison Ford) learns this lesson the hard way; first, he drops Mola Ram off a rope bridge, but unfortunately for our hero, Mola Ram not only hangs on, but climbs up and tries to rip out Indy's heart. So Indy eschews science in favor of some mystic mumbo jumbo, causing the Sankara stones he's carrying in his bag to burst into flames and burn through the canvas, sending them tumbling into the river. Mola Ram tries to catch them and loses his grip, and is sent plummeting down into crocodile infested water below.




Michael Myers in Halloween



Laurie Strode (Jamie Lee Curtis) stands in the bedroom doorway in the grip of shock, believing that she has finally dispatched the Shape, aka Michael Myers, once and for all. Unfortunately for her, he's not quite dead yet.

He gets up and immediately tries to strangle poor Laurie, but she's saved in the nick of time by a well-placed bullet from crazy ol' Dr. Loomis (Donald Pleasance). Loomis keeps plugging away at Meyers, driving him back with every shot, until finally the masked monster tumbles over the porch railing and crashes down into the back yard.

Laurie asks if that was the boogeyman, and Loomis assures it was. He then steps out onto the porch and peers over the railing, only to discover that Michael is nowhere I to be found. Like Rob Zombie's awful remake, the evil is still out there, and the nightmare is only beginning.




Dick Jones in Robocop



Dick Jones had it all; he was next in line to take over Omni Consumer Products when the Old Man (Dan O'Herlihy) died, he had a guaranteed military contract lined with the ED-209 project, and a key to the executive bathroom. Then Bob Morton (Miguel Ferrer) and Robocop (Peter Weller) came along and screwed it all up.

Jones dispensed with Morton easily enough, but Robocop proved a little more difficult to stop, despite the fact that Jones snuck in a failsafe that prevented the cyborg from arresting any high-level employees of OCP. Jones made a fatal mistake when he took the Old Man hostage.

Apparently that's the kind of offense that can get you fired, which can then lead to Robocop filling you with lead and sending you flying out the window of the 96th floor. This in turn then causes you to become a stop-motion puppet with disproportionately large arms, but that is neither here nor there.




Gaston in Beauty And The Beast



Gaston obviously thought pretty highly of himself, and all the people in the village were just a bunch of enablers, feeding his oversized ego at every turn. So it's sort of understandable that this type A narcissist would be shocked to find out that Belle (voiced by Paige O'Hara) would prefer the cute, cuddly, and marketable Beast (voiced by Robbie Benson) to the village stud.

So, Gaston leads the angry peasants to Beast's castle, and while they distract the enchanted staff, the wily villain makes his way up to the Beast's private quarters to confront the monster and win the hand of the lovely Belle. A vicious battle ensues, and it ends with both parties clinging to the side of the castle that overlooks a vast canyon below.

Eventually, Gaston loses his grip, and falls to his death. At least he looked handsome doing it.




Richter in Total Recall



It would appear as though Paul Verhoeven likes to dispatch of his villains by tossing them from great heights. He did it to Dick Jones in Robocop, but after reviewing the film, Verhoeven apparently thought that Jones' death wasn't quite bloody or gory enough.

So, in Total Recall, he focuses his violent rage on the character of Richter, who foolishly engages in a fist fight with muscle-bound superspy Doug Quaid (Arnold Schwarzenegger) on an industrial elevator platform. Quaid knocks Richter over the side of the platform, but the tenacious henchman manages to hang on.

Unfortunately, the elevator is rapidly approaching a narrow opening, and Quaid grab hold of Richter's arms, which are severed when the elevator passes the opening. Richter's disarmed body plummets to the ground below, his newly acquired bloody stumps waving uselessly all the way down. Gorey enough for you, Paul?




Quentin Hapsburg in Naked Gun 2 ½: The Smell of Fear



Frank Drebin (Leslie Neilsen) is sent to investigate a bombing at the Meinheimer research institute, where he is reunited with his old flame, Jane Spencer (Priscilla Presley). Sadly, Jane has moved on, and has hooked up with the slimy Quentin Habsburg, an executive with Hexagon Oil. Habsburg wants to sabotage President Bush's new energy initiative by kidnapping Dr. Meinheimer (Richard Griffiths) and replacing him with an exact duplicate.

Drebin learns of the scheme and sets out to stop Hapsburg, who plans to assassinate the President with a nuclear device. Drebin confronts Hapsburg, but Capt. Ed Hocken (George Kennedy) tosses the assassin out the hotel window. In a strange twist of fate, Hapsburg manages to land on an awning and survive the fall, only to be mauled to death by a lion that Frank accidentally released from the zoo earlier in the picture. D'oh!




Frank Nitti in The Untouchables



Frank Nitti should have just kept his mouth shut. After leading intrepid FBI agent Elliot Ness (Kevin Costner) on a thrilling rooftop chase cum shoot-out, Nitti is placed under arrest. As Ness leads him back into the courthouse, Nitti brags that he killed Ness's friend and mentor, Jim Malone (Sean Connery). Not only that, but he decides to twist the knife even further and inform Ness that Malone died "screaming like a stuck Irish pig."

Just as they are about to reach the door which will lead the two of them back into the building, Ness grabs Nitti and tosses him off the roof. Nitti screams like a bitch all the way down, prompting Ness to ask him if Malone "sounded anything like that". Nitti is unable to answer, though, as he crashes through the roof of a parked car and promptly dies.




Phillip Vandamm and Leonard in North By Northwest



It's another two-fer from Hitchcock! Roger O. Thornhill (Cary Grant) has spent the entire film trying to stay one step ahead of the men who have mistaken him for a government spy, but by the end of the movie, he's had enough. Along with the lovely Eve Kendall (Eva Marie Saint), Thornhill leads his pursuers to Mount Rushmore, where they engage in a spirited chase across the faces of the presidents.

Thornhill wrestles briefly with criminal mastermind Phillip Vandamm beneath Washington's chin before kicking the villain to his doom. Then, while trying to rescue Kendall from a similar fate, Thornhill runs afoul of Vandamm's henchman, Leonard, who is shot by a real government agent and then plunges to his own death off-screen. While not the most graphic sequences, they both comprise one of the tautest, most intense climaxes in film history.






The Comedian in Watchmen



Admittedly, Donald Blake, aka the Comedian, was a bit of a bastard, but at least he had a sense of humor, even on the day he was killed. Blake was just sitting around his lavish high rise apartment watching TV, when the door was kicked in by a shadowy assassin.

The two men engage in some brutal fisticuffs, and while Blake manages to hold his own, eventually the attacker gets the upper hand. He picks Blake's prone body up off the floor and regards the man's scarred and bloody face. Blake lets out a cynical laugh and mutters the words "It's all a joke" right before the assassin tosses him out the window and to his bloody death on the sidewalk below. Even at the end, Blake proved he could laugh at himself.





King Kong in King Kong



According to Carl Denham, it was beauty that killed the beast, but being riddled with bullets and falling from the top of the Empire State Building probably had something to do with it, too.

When they made King Kong, directors Merian C. Cooper and Ernest B. Schoedsack probably had no idea that they were creating one of the most iconic films in motion picture history, but they did just that, and the titular ape's climactic battle against a fleet of bi-planes atop what was then New York's tallest building went on to enter the collective pop culture unconsciousness.

Even more famous, though, is Kong's death, which 70 years later still manages to elicit strong emotions in viewers. It's a testament to the power of the original film that twice now others have tried to recreate the magic and the pathos of the death scene and neither has even come close.




Major T.J. "King" Kong in Dr. Strangelove



From one Kong to another, Major T.J. "King" Kong leads the crew of a B-52 that has been dispatched to Russia and ordered to deploy their payload over Moscow. Unbeknownst to Kong and his boys, their orders come straight from Brigadier General Jack D. Ripper (Sterling Hayden) who has snapped under the pressure of being a soldier during peacetime, and has become obsessed with people's precious bodily fluids.

Being a good soldier who would never question his orders, Kong is determined to carry out his mission, and when the bomb bay doors refuse to open, the Major heads down there himself to fix them. When he does, he is still straddling the nuke as it drops out of the belly of bomber, but rather than be distraught over his fate, Kong rides the bomb all the way down, a whoopin' and a hollerin' like a true cowboy.




Hans Gruber in Die Hard



When he set out to steal $640 million in bearer bonds from the vault of the high-tech Nakatomi Building in Los Angeles, Hans Gruber probably never expected that he'd be dropped from the top floor of the high-rise by some blue-collar cop from New York.

Unfortunately for the cool and calculating thief, that's exactly what happens in the climax of director John McTiernan's classic action film, as our hero John McClane (Bruce Willis) takes exception to Gruber's use of Mrs. McClane née Genarro (Bonnie Bedelia) as a human shield during the film's final showdown.

One well-placed bullet later, and Gruber is plunging to his death, and McClane is reunited with his estranged wife, completely unaware that Die Hard 4.0 is out there, waiting for him.

 
My Ping in TotalPing.com