Twenty Five Favorite Fake Movie Brands

Mooby the Golden Calf

As seen in: Dogma, Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks II

From the mind of Kevin Smith and featured throughout the View Askew Universe, Mooby the Golden Calf is a McDonald’s type fast food spokescow making reference to the Old Testament story of the golden calf that was worshipped as a graven idol. Complete with a theme song, Mooby also evokes memories of old-fashioned Disney characters like Mickey Mouse.

Soul Glo

As seen in: Coming to America

For when you need to rock your jheri curls, just be careful not to stain your couch. Just let your sooooouuuuullllll gloooooooo!!!!!

Cyberdyne Systems Corporation

As seen in: The Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, and Terminator Salvation

Terminator fans are well aware the company is responsible for the genesis of the supercomputer Skynet, which becomes the primary antagonist of the whole series, including its armies of machines.

Brawndo: The Thirst Mutilator

As seen in:Idiocracy

The formerly fictional energy drink is now no longer imaginary. Redux Beverages makes the movie-inspired beverage (which itself was inspired by the fallen drink Rondo), and they are same company that brought us Cocaine Energy Drink. What a fine product line. Brawdo, It’s got what plants crave.

Nails Cigarettes

As seen in: the View Askew Universe

Got Nails? The Nails Cigarette campaign has a unique “truth in advertising” rarely displayed by a tobacco company. Plus the cigarettes are unfiltered, intolerable by right-wing America, and you are unlikely to survive more than ten minutes while smoking them. Have fun!

Weyland-Yutani

As seen in:the Alien Quadrilogy

Often referred to simply as “The Company”, It is one of the corporations that runs the human colonies outside the solar system through the Extrasolar Colonization Administration. It also has a seat in the Interstellar Commerce Commission’s Company Review Board and maintains a large presence on Earth. In short, they build better world.

Sex Panther

As seen in: Anchorman

It’s made by Odeon, illegal in nine countries, and made with bits of real panther. So you know it’s good. They’ve done studies on this type of thing. Caution: may smell like Bigfoot’s dick.

Dapper Dan

As seen in: Oh Brother Where Art Thou?

Don’t settle for Fop. You’re a Dapper Dan man! Whip out a can of Dapper Dan pomade to grease your hair down. The fictional pomade was first introduced for the movie Oh Brother Where Art Thou? and the Coens continue to run with it.

Pizza Planet

As seen in: Pixar movies

Pixar created it, and Walt Disney followed through with actual restaurants located at Disney’s Hollywood Studios and Disneyland Paris designed to resemble the animated creation. For a complete list of movie references on this brand, consult Wikipedia.

Red Apple Cigarettes

As seen in: Pulp Fiction, From Dusk Til Dawn, Four Rooms, Kill Bill, and Grindhouse

You’ll notice the Quentin Tarantino connection to all those movies, as its the brand of choice for cigarette smokers when he’s around.

Big Kahuna Burger

As seen in: the Tarantino Universe

Speaking of Tarantino…now, this is a tasty burger. Big Kahuna Burger is a fictional chain of Hawaiian fast food chain referenced in several of Tarantino’s films such as Death Proof, Four Rooms, From Dusk Till Dawn, True Romance, Pulp Fiction and Reservoir Dogs. It even inspired a real chain. Although Big Kahuna is no Teriyaki Donut.

Chotchkie’s

As seen in: Office Space

Where the guys from Initech meet with their pals at lunch, or a better name for a generic chain restaurant staffed by twenty-somethings in goofy uniforms. Too bad they make you wear pieces of flair.

Chico’s Bail Bonds

As seen in: Bad News Bears

It’s a match made in heaven. Who hasn’t had a Little League coach who’s been caught doing something illegal? And you can also show your support the best fictional kid’s ball club!

Paper Street Soap Company

As seen in: Fight Club

For those who want to rebel against the structure of our culture, the rainbows that we chase, the corrupt oligarchy that most of us work. Plus great at getting out blood stains.

Spatula City

As seen in: UHF

Thanks “Weird Al” Yankovic, and more recently Rush Limbaugh, for bringing this spatula outlet store to life. Spatula City, they sell Spatulas, and that’s all!

Tyrell Corporation

As seen in: Blade Runner

Named for its founder Dr. Eldon Tyrell, is a biotech company primarily concerned with the production life-like androids (or replicants).

Elsinore Beer

As seen in: Strange Brew

I’ll have an Elsinore beer. Hold the donut, Eh. But keep the mind-altering drugs and possible plans of world domination.

S-Mart

As seen in: Army of Darkness

Retails for about a hundred and nine, ninety five. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That’s right. Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.

The Very Big Corporation of America

As seen in: Monty Python’s Meaning of Life

Unfortunately, The Very Big Corporation’s much-hyped acquisition of British insurance firm Permanent Assurance disintegrated amid cultural differences and some cannon fire.



Stay Puft Marshmallows

As seen in: Ghostbusters

He really is on all the packages you used to buy, particularly when you roasted marshmallows at Camp Waconda. And here you thought he was the most harmless thing.

Wayne Enterprises

As seen in: Batman films

A premier inventor of a wide varierty of products, the Gotham-based conglomerate has been a bedrock of industry for a long time. The downside is that I heard that Bruce Wayne is a giant douche parties all the time and mooches of his wealth. He’s no Batman.

Umbrella Corp

As seen in: Resident Evil Trilogy

The bioengineering pharmaceutical company first appearing in the Resident Evil video game series and later films. It may sound slike they do good things like pharmaceuticals, medical hardware, defense, and computers. But they also have dabbled in more clandestine operations utilizing genetic engineering and bio-weaponry. Thanks for the zombies Umbrella Corp.

Fruity Oaty Bars

As seen in: Serenity

Fruit oaty bars make a man out of my mouse! Fruity oaty bars make your busts out of your blouse! Caution: may cause sudden outbursts of violence.

RePet

As seen in: The 6th Day

This one may not be too far from reality.

Acme

As seen in: Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, The Last Action Hero, various Warner Brothers cartoons

The only company endorsed by Wile E. Coyote. Sure, it’s more of cartoon fictional brand than a movie one, but it’s made it’s appearances in various films over the years. And no fake brand is more well recognized. Plus, no one makes a better anvil.