If you're a professional athlete, entertainer or whatever the hell Spencer Pratt is, odds are you're gonna have to apologize publicly for something you did at some point. Oftentimes these apologies ring true, but more often than not, you make yourself look like an even bigger tool. Here are the 10 worst offenders of insincerity.
10. Kanye West Blogs His Way Further Into the Doghouse
Soon after the Taylor Swift incident, Kanye found himself back at his crib, trying to write an apology letter with the all-caps button jammed on his keyboard. Using a little-known bipolar writing style, Kanye goes from sincere apology to subtle insult, back to apology and so on. No surprise that the letter was pulled from his site soon after.
9. Mark Sanford Puts His Mistress First
Much has been made of the South Carolina governor's long, rambling owning-up speech where he revealed more dirty laundry than anyone asked for. But by the time Sanford gets around to the actual apologizing, he starts with his mistress! Followed by the people of S.C., and then his wife and kids. And it should be a rule that any apology is null when "y'all" is used this flagrantly.
8. Pete Rose Apologizes...For a Small Fee
The all-time hit leader denied betting on baseball for years. Then, in 2004, he finally admitted it in his autobiography. Like we didn't know. And he's since offered a public apology to any of his fans...for the low, low price of $279.99.
7. Chris Brown's Lonely Hearts Club Band
It's bad enough that it took Chris Brown so long to finally issue an apology for beating his then-girlfriend, Rihanna. (Five months? Why bother?) Kicking things off by trotting out the tired "My lawyer advised me..." excuse is a surefire way to elicit sneers. Adding insult to injury? The bizarre "Sgt. Pepper"-meets-"Double Dare" attire he chose to wear. At least put a tie on, kid.
6. Alex Rodriguez Has a Brain Fart
After being cold-busted for using banned substances, Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez's frequent admissions that it was such a different culture waaaaaay back in 2001 never exactly rang true. Plus, when he seemingly has a senior moment - or just forgot the coaching he'd received beforehand - around the one-minute mark in the clip above, he makes some ridiculous faces that belie his "sorrow" in the whole affair.
5. Bill Clinton Chooses His Words Carefully
One of the most fascinating aspects of the former prez's videotaped "my bad" is the time it takes for him to actually utter the word "sorry." He never does! Not once during this four-and-a half minute clip. He's crafty about it, though, accepting responsibilities for his actions and admitting to pissing off his wife somethin' fierce. When he says "I deeply regret that," you can tell he may have the bruises to back it up.
4. Kobe Bryant Drags Out the Old Ball and Chain
Yeah, it's bad enough he cheated on his wife, but to drag her out to a press conference and make her awkwardly sit there while he licks his lips and talks about her being "the air that you breath" after hooking up with some other chick...well, that's worse. (Fast-forward to the 4:45 minute mark.)
3. Mel Gibson Is Crazy
During his 2006 DUI arrest, the actor let fly a slew of anti-Semitic remarks. In response, he did the only thing he could—he sat down with Diane Sawyer. During the interview he managed to completely overshadow the incident and his apology, of sorts, by showing us that he's, uh, out of his effin' mind. (Sure, this video has been edited to increase his craziness, but not by much.)
2. Jimmy Swaggart Needs a Kleenex
I HAVE SINNED
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If you're a Bible-thumping televangelist who gets busted with a New Orleans prostitute, you best break out the tears when you appear before your massive congregation. Swaggart didn't disappoint back in 1988, with his oft-quoted utterance of "Ah have sinned against you, my Lord!" His congregation stood behind him ... and then he was busted with another lady of ill repute in '91. As Ozzy once sang, "No more tears."
1. Ashlee Simpson Shifts the Blame
The singer totally got busted lip synching on SNL. Instead of fessing up to her antics, she points the finger elsewhere—her band, who she strangely blames for "playing the wrong song" and follows with "I'm sorry, live TV." Maybe the band and live TV made her dance that jig too.
