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Friday, October 2, 2009

The 9 Most Annoying Commercial Jingles Of All Time

A "voice roll" is one of the most common forms of brainwashing and advertisers often try to use this method to control the minds of potential customers. Voice roll is a patterned, paced style used by hypnotists when inducing a trance. A voice roll can sound as if the speaker were talking to the beat of a metronome or it may sound as though he were emphasizing certain word in a monotonous, patterned style to make your brain go numb. The words will usually be delivered at the rate of 45 to 60 beats per minute, maximizing the hypnotic effect. I don't know about you, but I'd say that pretty much sums up the following nine commercials.



#9 Kraft's "Crumbalievable" - While it will never stop anyone from eating Kraft's delicious noodle dishes covered in powdered cheese, "Crumbalievable" is one of the most embarrassing commercial alterations of a pop culture song in the history of advertising... and that's saying something.







#8 The "Yay Pepto Bismol" Song - If they had simply written a "Diarrhea Fever" song it might've been tolerable compared to this horrifying tune mixed with the Macarena dance.







#7 Subway's "Five-Dollar Footlong" - I'll admit it was catchy at first and I couldn't get the song out of my head on occasion, but enough already. You cannot go one day of television viewing without hearing this gut-wrenching song.












#6 Mazda's "Saved By Zero" - If Mazda really wanted to save people, they would've saved us from every having to hear this terrible jingle. It was so bad it made people think that maybe the "Zoom Zoom" commercials weren't so bad after all.













#5 Enzyte - Watching these commercials is like having a bad acid trip while being trapped in a religious cult summer camp. See, I already have that damn whistling song stuck in my head again and the purple cow sitting next to me keeps telling that "interrupting cow" joke over and over again.












#4 Chili's Baby Back Ribs - Whoever created this "catchy" tune should be arrested and forced to eat Chili's food for thirty straight days. That's the only acceptable form of punishment for a commercial crime of this magnitude.



#3 Mentos - Rumor has it that Rico Suave actually wrote and performed this song. Once he realized what he had done he refused to take credit and considered removing the "Suave" from his name.






#2 Meow Mix - Remember that scene in The Empire Strikes Back when they're torturing Chewbacca with loud noises. That's exactly what it's like watching this commercial.






#1 Freecreditreport.com - It doesn't matter what channel you go to, you can't avoid the most annoying commercial jingles of all time.The worst part is that the people who are actually dumb enough to go to freecreditreport.com will be mad when they find out that it actually makes your credit worse.

 
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