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Friday, January 8, 2010

The 10 Hottest NFL Wildcard Weekend WAGs

They say you can't win an NFL playoff game without a solid running game and defense. "They" also say that you can't survive the bone-crushing hits and cold January weather of the NFL playoffs unless you have a hot girlfriend or wife to warm you up before and after the game. So basically this means that the team with the hottest wives and girlfriends going into the playoffs typically has the best chance of winning the Super Bowl each year. Hey, it's not my theory, it's what "they" say and you never argue with "they."


#10 Laura Hawk (Wife Of AJ Hawk) - AJ decided to settle down before his NFL playing career began and married Brady Quinn's hot sister Laura. Or as the joke goes at the Hawk family reunion, "I guess AJ done sacked both siblings of the Quinn family and this sure is some delicious fried raccoon."











#9 Andrea Barnett (Wife Of Fred Taylor) - Fred supposedly spotted Andrea through his camcorder while he was filming the "scenery" on the beaches of Cancún. He spent several minutes taping her from afar but never approached her. When he got back to Jacksonville and watched the footage, he recognized a woman standing next to Andrea. She was a former girlfriend of Tampa Bay Buccaneers linebacker Derrick Brooks. Taylor contacted Brooks and begged him to set him up with Andrea and they were married three years later. See kids, it does pay to be a Peeping Tom sometimes.












#8 Shaelyn Palmer (Wife Of Carson Palmer) - Carson married the former USC soccer hottie Mia Hamm look-alike and the two of them have been trying to avoid spending a weekend with Chad Ocho Cinco ever since.













#7 Maya (Girlfriend Of Chad Ocho Cinco) - Nobody knows what her last name is but Maya is a hottie that Ocho Cinco recently found in Miami. And by the looks of her I'd say she's a 36C, so perhaps her last name should be "Tres Seis C."












#6 Kristin Cavallari (Girlfriend Of Matt Leinart) - Since the whole NFL quarterback thing doesn't seem to be working out for Matt, he continues to plow through Hollywood starlets like a 12-year old kid on Ritalin and Kristin is his latest. And OMG, can you like imagine how much drama he'd like totally create if he dumped her and started dating Lauren Conrad next.










#5 Hillary Rhoda (Girlfriend Of Mark Sanchez) - Sanchez met Rhoda while they were both doing a "god damn we're both so young and sexy" photo shoot for GQ last summer. Hillary has reportedly been seen "canoodling" with Sean Avery lately and the New York tabloids can't decide whether Mark is still dating Hillary or isn't worried about losing her to the biggest metrosexual in NHL history.











#4 Candice Crawford (Girlfriend Of Tony Romo) - Candice is the latest hot blonde notch on Tony Romeo's cowboy belt. Yeah, I think that's pretty much all there is to say about this one







#3 Meagan Good (Girlfriend Of Thomas Jones) - Everyone needs a good luck charm to make the Super Bowl and Meagan's got the goods to be just that for the Jets this year. She would also eliminate the cameraman from ever having to focus on Rex Ryan on the sidelines because nobody needs to see that.












#2 Gisele Bundchen (Baby Momma Of Tom Brady) - It wouldn't be an NFL WAG list without Gisele and I wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't make fun of Tom Brady again for his WTF baby goat picture. Not only is Gisele one of the great all time sports WAGs, but she's also one hell of a sugar momma.












#1 Julie Henderson (Girlfriend Of Aaron Rodgers) - After reportedly being dumped by Hip Hop mogul Russell Simmons, Julie decide to starting dating Aaron Rodgers, the John Holmes of the NFL. And I think it's safe to say that even if Rodgers never wins a Super Bowl, he might've already surpassed Brett Favre as "the man" in Green Bay.



 
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