As human intelligence continues to decline at an alarming rate due to technology and the internet, it is important to remember that we are still smarter than squirrels. It's important to remember this because squirrels pose the only true threat to the exinction of humans on planet Earth because other their ability to fight us from the top of trees. While this fact may be comforting, I fear that it won't be long before it will be far too dangerous for humans to eat soup for because of the drowning factor.
#5 Miss America Is Not The Master Of The Universe - Hopefully they'll have a "Miss Intelligence" pageant one day because there is nothing hotter than watching women in bikinis doing long division.
#4 Former WWE Wrester Michelle McCool And The "Seal" Of The United States - No matter what the bald eagle does, that poor bird can't get no respect.
#3 Way Too Many Feet In A Yard - And I think it's safe to say that she's still extremely entertained by the "peek-a-boo" game.
#2 To The Moon, Alice! - At this point, we might as well label the moon a planet just to make life simpler for everyone.
#1 Kellie Pickler Is Not The Pick Of The American Litter - And suddenly all of those dumb blonde jokes don't seem to be quite so politically incorrect.
